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While you figure out the math, let me be clear that I’ve met several other women in their early- to mid-20s who also prefer to date from a much older pool for various reasons.And while cliché dictates that, sure, men are into it, there’s been some recent research done about younger females often gravitate toward mature men.Yes, even still in 2014—a time in which, as I myself have written, women often outearn men.
“It does let him know, in a subtle yet important way, that you are the kind of woman who is confident enough to accept his generosity,” he says.
This is not meant to set some sort of precedent where he pays all the time.
The exception: If she asks him out and picks the place, the experts say, she ought be prepared to settle the bill.
Women: “Practice Being Courted” In the olden days, men routinely paid because women, generally speaking, didn’t have the means to do so.
Or, if you’re planning to stay out after dinner, offer to grab a round of drinks or dessert at the next stop.
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This way you both get to practice your generosity, and it feels a bit more romantic than going halfsies all the time. Okay, but say she decides midway through the date—or even five minutes in—that this relationship has no future.As Mendez explains, many men feel fulfilled and accomplished when they see an opportunity to provide, even if it’s in simple ways like paying for a drink.Perhaps more importantly, paying is a way for him to preen.And when researchers at Chapman University recently surveyed more than 17,000 people on the topic of first-date finances, they found that 39% of women who offered to pay said they secretly hoped the men would not let them.Meanwhile, 44% of women said they were annoyed when expected to help pay the bill. It’s just a first date dance move that—more often than not—leaves each person happy and satisfied.Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.It’s an early stage financial crossroads that could make or break chances for a second date.So, when in doubt, how I tapped relationship experts Marni Battista, founder of Dating With and Bernardo Mendez of Your Great Life TV for some guidelines. Battista and Mendez both agree that it’s generally best for men to pay on a first date.Remember that you can—and should—reciprocate (assuming there’s a next time).Let him pay for the first date and then offer to treat him the very next time you go out.