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But are you dating her because you like her or because she’s there?
The fix: If you notice yourself falling into "blah" relationships, think about how you describe these girls to your friends.
In fact, many relationships end because one or both individuals in a couple didn’t get their expectations met.
You get unhappy and think about ending the relationship.
In almost twenty years of counseling men and women about relationship issues, I have identified a handful of expectations that screw up relationships time and again.
It’ll help train your brain to look for reasons why a girl may be a potential match instead of proof she definitely isn’t.
When you're single and it seems all your friends have a girl, it’s hard not to want a plus-one.
“When you’re always going out to new places and doing new things, you may think you like her, when you’re really just hooked on the adrenaline rush of novelty,” Beyer says.
The fix: Part of the fun of dating is going out on the town, but being equally cool spending an evening at home is key for a long-term relationship.
Her values—whether or not she wants kids, how commitment-oriented she is—are a lot more essential to a healthy relationship, adds Kate Stewart, a Seattle-based therapist and dating coach.
“Making sure those things match up are a lot more indicative of whether or not a romance will last than superficial details like salary." The fix: Go ahead and have a list of things you want in a girl, but put the things you need Maybe you always date free-spirited girls or find yourself going after more intellectual, serious types.
That’s fine—as long as you’re occasionally open to dating someone different.
“If you’re always dating the same type, you may not even realize all the other qualities you’re attracted to,” Beyer says.