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I've been hearing my girlfriends discuss their wins and losses with a variety of online-dating phone apps, so I'm breaking down the newest means of tech-based courtship.
Take heed of the following red flags and you'll be much more aware, prepared and ready should someone try and take advantage of you.
Have you ever exchanged emails with someone you met through an internet dating site, just to wonder if its the same person who is replying to your messages each time?
More accurately, these more accurately named, "sex-finder" apps are designed to help you geo-locate an immediately available, readily accessible romantic or sexual partner much in the same way that Yelp or Citysearch will direct you to a nearby four star sushi bar or Italian deli with a good smartphone and the flick of your index finger. Once downloaded and opened, sex finder apps bring up an instant photo grid of potentially available sex partners, presorted by location, gender, age and/or sexual preference -- all on your smartphone screen.
In crowded urban areas these apps often locate multiple people within a mere few hundred feet!
As such, any jam-packed venue is now a prime cruising spot for app-aware people looking to get laid. Within three months I ended up getting fired for sneaking out of work to hook up.
This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (though not everyone is single). And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away.
Or perhaps you've briefly thought to yourself that the person on the other end of the communication really needs to employ a spell-checker.
Neither of these email discrepancies are cause for alarm; a lot of people aren't very good with spelling and grammar, and they may be writing English as a second language.
Rico, a 32-year-old gay guy, had this to say about his experience: Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the first week, without giving it much thought, I'd had three previously unknown sex partners over to my place. If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat -- apps likely are your fastest route to sex and potential relationship problems.
In a heartbeat Grindr became my #1 distraction from stress, tedium, and loneliness, but it also quickly replaced dating and most of my social life. But do remember to 'play safe', especially if you're planning to keep this secret from a spouse.