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“My biggest fear of all, to be honest, is getting raped,” Bracy-Ann told me as we walked ahead of the slowly prowling car.She had been attacked by a gang of men just prior to moving out of town.

I got a glimpse of what it might be like to be gay in Kingston when I spent a day walking the city’s streets with Antirum and Bracy-Ann, the middle names of two Jamaican women who had been living together in Kingston.

Each has the other’s initials framed with a heart tattooed on their arms.

Wealthy and professionally-successful Jamaicans who are gay say they are often used as examples of Jamaican tolerance because their status protects them most of the time.

“There are gays across the board and, yes man, we are stigmatized, but because of our parents or what we have attained for ourselves we are not interfered with,” said Carl, a high-ranking civil servant who has lived for more than a decade with his three sons and his boyfriend while his wife lives in New Jersey, where she works as a doctor.

Within seconds came a barrage of catcalls and anti-gay insults from men standing on curbs or in doorways.

A car slowed ominously, hostile young faces staring from the front seats.At a clandestine, invite-only gay warehouse party I attended deep in the mountains behind Kingston, a half dozen guards blocked the front door to search for weapons, a definition that includes cell phones with cameras.The party ended in a panicked run to the parking lot when a rumor that the police had discovered the party swept through the dance floor. Anti-gay predators, Jamaicans looking to harm gay people, “meet us in chat rooms and arrange to meet face-to-face; they do it like a game,” said J, a pixie-sized, thirty-three-year-old gay woman living with her siblings in Kingston.But the vast majority of anti-gay violence goes unreported and Jamaican police almost never acknowledge an anti-gay motive in the violent crimes they investigate.During one two-week period last April alone, J-FLAG learned of two lesbian couples in Kingston who were brutally gang-raped in separate incidents.“Dancehall artists say they don’t mean people should go out and kill gay people but people do take it literally, and why wouldn’t they?The fear is all the other way,” N told me inside an HIV prevention center, one of the few places in Kingston where we could talk without fear of retribution from someone overhearing our conversation.Leaving an upscale Kingston restaurant a few months before, fourteen men had ambushed N and a male colleague in the restaurant’s parking lot.Several months ago, Antirum’s nephew, a gang leader, or shotta, was deported to Jamaica from England where he had been living.Finding the two women living in the house that Antirum legally owns, the nephew forcibly evicted the couple. With their lives threatened in Kingston, the women abandoned their jobs and network of friends and relatives, and are renting an apartment in St.“I can pull up to a red light and something can happen. I’m afraid someone will call me out as gay for using too many hand gestures. Anything can be used to call a man gay, on the street or in the neighborhood.”This fear of being identified as gay may have even contributed to Jamaica’s rising incidence of colon cancer.Jamaican men often refuse digital rectal examinations out of fear the procedure will result in an allegation of homosexuality, health officials have complained to local media.

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